Chris says I'm continuing to improve. I'll take that on trust. It's hard for me to judge. I think my energy level is better but really it had nowhere to go but up.
Headaches continued to dog me, some quite nasty ones had me in tears. I worried that the medicene that was starting to help me would end up causing a bad enough side effect I couldn't continue it. However the last couple of days, I haven't had a single one. I'm hoping I've adjusted enough I'm done with them.
Emotionally I still feel raw. I'm easily overwhelmed. I'm trying to be more interactive, trying to post daily on facebook and my writing board. Not doing as well on returning calls and emails :(.
My body seems little different than last week but I haven't back slid. It's early in the process. I'm only on the initial dosage and so I have to remind myself to be patient.
I thought I'd gotten pretty good at giving myself the shots but the last two I managed to hit veins. Just a little blood, a little stinging and a lot of sheepishness.
Overall I believe the GH is worth it and Chris says he's certain it is.
4/30/10
4/20/10
Two weeks complete
The bad, always best to get that out of the way first :)
The headaches for some hours after taking medicine persists. Not horrid, just throbbing. It messes with me somewhat because when the tumor grows large enough I've headaches. Logically I know the MRI was good, that the tumor is only a few cells large but emotionally lets just say I'm not fond of headaches.
The emotional, social isolation, having trouble wanting to engage with people issue persists. The scene in Top Gun when Maverick disengages then struggles to engage comes to mind except he recovers in a big way. I take a small step then retreat a half a step. I managed some email, some posts and chats on facebook but just couldn't go to a birthday party, can barely handle being among all the people at the boy's track meets, had difficulty handling teen angst and cranky working long hours husband. It still feels like I'm missing a protective, layer of emotional skin, everything stings.
The good - my body is functioning better.
My skin while still dry is less so, no longer resembles my memory of my Grandma's skin at 80 maybe at 60 now.
The last few days I haven't had to take what used to be a daily, stirring spoon heaped with fiber in order to 'function' in the bathroom. Very pleased about that. I felt like an old lady who had to have her bran muffin and prunes every morning or there was hell to pay.
Still tired but less so, still moody but less so, still trouble concentrating, being able to think clear but less so.
Imagine living constantly navigating through dense fog. Today while I'm still making my way through troubling, annoying, difficult to see through fog, it's less dense, lighter and I can maneuver better.
From the inside it's hard to gauge if I'm improving or I'm just hoping I am so I asked Chris his opinion. He says I'm improving. The fog analogy above is his. :)
I am hopeful.
The headaches for some hours after taking medicine persists. Not horrid, just throbbing. It messes with me somewhat because when the tumor grows large enough I've headaches. Logically I know the MRI was good, that the tumor is only a few cells large but emotionally lets just say I'm not fond of headaches.
The emotional, social isolation, having trouble wanting to engage with people issue persists. The scene in Top Gun when Maverick disengages then struggles to engage comes to mind except he recovers in a big way. I take a small step then retreat a half a step. I managed some email, some posts and chats on facebook but just couldn't go to a birthday party, can barely handle being among all the people at the boy's track meets, had difficulty handling teen angst and cranky working long hours husband. It still feels like I'm missing a protective, layer of emotional skin, everything stings.
The good - my body is functioning better.
My skin while still dry is less so, no longer resembles my memory of my Grandma's skin at 80 maybe at 60 now.
The last few days I haven't had to take what used to be a daily, stirring spoon heaped with fiber in order to 'function' in the bathroom. Very pleased about that. I felt like an old lady who had to have her bran muffin and prunes every morning or there was hell to pay.
Still tired but less so, still moody but less so, still trouble concentrating, being able to think clear but less so.
Imagine living constantly navigating through dense fog. Today while I'm still making my way through troubling, annoying, difficult to see through fog, it's less dense, lighter and I can maneuver better.
From the inside it's hard to gauge if I'm improving or I'm just hoping I am so I asked Chris his opinion. He says I'm improving. The fog analogy above is his. :)
I am hopeful.
4/14/10
Another day, another shot
I'm going to start posting once a week rather than daily. On day 8 and day 9 I revisited my thighs. I've almost got the routine down pat. Slight odd taste in my mouth and slight headache but doing alright. Chris tells me he believes he sees some improvement in my mood. I wonder how does a person measure that?
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