The bad, always best to get that out of the way first :)
The headaches for some hours after taking medicine persists. Not horrid, just throbbing. It messes with me somewhat because when the tumor grows large enough I've headaches. Logically I know the MRI was good, that the tumor is only a few cells large but emotionally lets just say I'm not fond of headaches.
The emotional, social isolation, having trouble wanting to engage with people issue persists. The scene in Top Gun when Maverick disengages then struggles to engage comes to mind except he recovers in a big way. I take a small step then retreat a half a step. I managed some email, some posts and chats on facebook but just couldn't go to a birthday party, can barely handle being among all the people at the boy's track meets, had difficulty handling teen angst and cranky working long hours husband. It still feels like I'm missing a protective, layer of emotional skin, everything stings.
The good - my body is functioning better.
My skin while still dry is less so, no longer resembles my memory of my Grandma's skin at 80 maybe at 60 now.
The last few days I haven't had to take what used to be a daily, stirring spoon heaped with fiber in order to 'function' in the bathroom. Very pleased about that. I felt like an old lady who had to have her bran muffin and prunes every morning or there was hell to pay.
Still tired but less so, still moody but less so, still trouble concentrating, being able to think clear but less so.
Imagine living constantly navigating through dense fog. Today while I'm still making my way through troubling, annoying, difficult to see through fog, it's less dense, lighter and I can maneuver better.
From the inside it's hard to gauge if I'm improving or I'm just hoping I am so I asked Chris his opinion. He says I'm improving. The fog analogy above is his. :)
I am hopeful.
No comments:
Post a Comment